Meriwether's Blog

I recently turned 21 and as my frontal lobe begins to snap into place, I feel like I’ve learned some valuable lessons that I want to share. I’ve been through a few things so far such as losing a parent, moving states, and like everyone else, life. So I think I’m qualified to give what I’m calling, Big Sister Advice. Here, in no particular order, are ten things I’ve learned in my 21 years on planet Earth. 

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1. When people try to tell you who you are, you don’t have to listen to them or believe them. 

Everyone is influenced by their own experiences and world view and that will influence how people see you. Some people will verbalize that to you. And sometimes it can be helpful but most of the time, it’s a projection of their own inner psyche and it has so much less to do with you than you realize. You know who you are. 

2. There is so much more to life than what is presented to you at your predominantly white high school in your predominantly conservative, Christian town. 

You will be scared into thinking that you have to be a certain way and follow a certain path in order to find happiness, fulfillment, love and success but that is not true. I honestly think a lot of the people who enforce that lifestyle are remorseful of the choices that led them to lose what they could have had or been and they want more people in their boat so they feel less alone. Misery loves company and you do not have to be that company.

3. Learn how to cook bro

Part of life is learning how to take care of yourself and develop a nurturing relationship to yourself. Learning how to cook will save you money and your health. Knowing what you're eating and why you're eating it is key to fostering a healthy relationship with food and your body. Everybody enjoys fast food but you should be eating at home most days of the week. 

4. Know that it’s normal to feel alone and/or sad. 

Part of life is grieving, feeling sad about things, and honestly just feeling like a weirdo. It’s important to recognize when you need a friend or more. There is nothing embarrassing about getting help. Know that you are worth it and if you’re feeling horrible everyday you deserve help and you deserve to grow.

5. GET A JOB

I have seen many people who do not work and their lives are dependent on other people. If you want to live a life that is truly your own, you need your own money. Doing what you want with the money you made is such a freeing feeling. You can totally decide what level of capitalism works for you but whether it's a fast food job, a median job that pays $40,000 or a big wig corporate job, if you are physically able to work just get a job. 

6. Travel as much as you possibly can.

Now that you have a job, and hopefully some expendable income, you are free to travel to your heart and budget’s content. Travelling is another liberating experience that everyone who is capable of should absolutely do. Get out there and see things and learn things and interact with people different from yourself. Be open and go into it with the spirit of wanderlust. 

7. Never stop learning.

I know school can be rough. A lot of people (myself included) lose the desire to read casually after they are graded on it. It becomes a task rather than an activity. But the thing is, your brain is quite literally starving for information and your subconscious will become a pool of whatever information you are taking in. Be intentional with what you feed your brain. Don't feed it TikToks, feed it real knowledge about whatever you're interested in. Read fantasy, learn a craft, go on a hike and actually read the little tree plaques. 

8. Everything is connected.

It’s easy to get lost in the black and white nature of modern American society. Just because the dentist is separate from the doctor’s office doesn't mean your dental health isn't connected to the rest of your body. After all, your body is a whole made up of many parts. This applies to literally everything. Pay attention to the flow of life and the cycles that take place. It's all connected.

9. Put effort into liking yourself

Liking yourself is the basic foundation of confidence. Whatever you’re afraid others are saying or thinking of you is really just what you think of yourself. I recently heard someone say that it’s bad to use other people to think negatively of yourself because you're avoiding responsibility and making up a false and negative idea of who they are as well. If you have an insecurity, decide if it's something you are willing to change or is it something that was programmed into you and maybe you don't have to change it. Self acceptance -> self liking -> confidence. 

10. You simply must change.

Life is full of things that you cannot control and changes that come drastically without warning. Understand that it’s okay. It can be painful and awful and shatter your life for a while but at the end of the day, change is an inevitable part of life. The sooner you accept that, the less you will suffer. There doesn't have to be rhyme or reason to why someone’s life was taken or why you fell out with your best friend. Baby, it’s just change. And change is life.

Honorary Dad Advice from my deceased father;